Title: THIS IS HOW I SPELL GRIEF: A GUIDE TO HEALING FROM LOSS & FINDING FULFILLMENT
Author: Erik Lewin
Publisher: Jeffrey Park Press
Pages: 126
Genre: Self-Help/Narrative/Nonfiction
Erik Lewin shares how he turned the profound loss of his mother and father into life-changing growth, with intimacy, warmth and humor. He offers a no-nonsense, commonsense way to create your personal path to acceptance of your loss.
Lewin became an expert in his grief experience twice over, encouraging readers to find their own way, as no two lives or losses are the same. He eschews expert opinions and general analyses of grieving in favor of common sense, letting you know you are not alone in how you’re feeling. He shares how he turned his loss into an impetus to personal change. A former criminal defense lawyer, Lewin is now a full time writer and standup comedian.
This Is How I Spell Grief takes a counter-intuitive approach to self-help; there are no eight simple exercises to get over it. Instead, you gradually learn to address grief on your own terms, to make true and lasting peace with your loss.
Powerful, powerful book. As a reader and reviewer, I have to say I feared this book for the sole reason that it would put me in a place I didn't want to be. A place that I had carefully packed away. A place I knew would regress me back to my own experience with my mom passing when I was only nineteen years ago. I knew I had signed up for this because I felt that it might help heal the scar that was left behind in my soul. Indeed, it was a lifesaver.
Everyone can relate to Erik Lewin's This Is How I Spell Grief. It's an inevitable part of life - to die. We all take on different forms of grief-dom. Some seem to handle it better than the rest on the outside but inside they are still screaming like the rest of us.
I must make note of this quote before I forget. Erik writes,
"Losing a parent is a head trip that transports one to childhood and back, carrying with it the weight of deep personal change."
Did you fully take that in? I can't think of another life changing event that has as much dramatic impact on us besides the death of a loved one...but it was the last part of that sentence that made me sit up and take notice - ... deep personal change. Life is one crazy roller coaster ride but having someone you loved very deeply die turns you into a different person. You're still the same or at least you try to be but the impact of death takes hold and there's nothing you can do about it. As Erik says, 'there is no bridge to the past.' What's done is done.
So, Erik's book helps us with this, but I have to admit when I got to the part about his mother's death, tears fell. By this time, I was really into the book. I could really personally relate to him as he talked about the tears he shed the night his mother was in the hospital with cancer. It was like I was right there with him.
Something else brought on the waterworks...
I haven’t said “Mom” in seven years. I used to say it every day.
I haven’t ended one of our near daily conversations with “love you” nor
have I heard mom say, “love you too,” in seven years. These things are not little.
They are precious.
If I have learned anything from this book, it's recognizing the precious parts of life that I've shut away because it was just too painful to remember. They say it's all part of the healing process but do we ever heal from a loved ones death?
Everyone deals with death differently. This is one person's account but it is so powerful you'll be glad you read it.
Amazing book. I highly highly recommend it and I give it 5 gold stars!
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